The Confession Most Christians Avoid

Most Christians know they should confess their sins to God. Far fewer follow the biblical command to confess their sins to another believer.

In this opening message from 1 John, Pastor Mike Wilson explores why confession is essential for forgiveness, healing, accountability, and freedom from shame.

John did not build Christianity upon a rumor or inspirational idea. He personally heard Jesus, saw Him, touched Him, watched Him die, and then saw Him alive again.

The center of Christianity is a person and an event.

First John explains that denying our sin does not make us innocent—it makes us dishonest. But when we confess our sins, God faithfully forgives and cleanses us. Confession means agreeing with God about what is true: what we did was wrong, we need to change, and God’s grace is available.

When we confess, we speak the language of God.

Confession and repentance are connected but distinct. Confession admits the truth. Repentance allows God to change our direction and heal what is causing us to sin. The Holy Spirit’s conviction is not evidence that God has abandoned us. It is evidence that He loves us too much to leave us unchanged.

This message also explains the important difference between guilt and shame:

Guilt says, “I did something wrong.”
Shame says, “I am something wrong.”

Healthy guilt can lead us toward confession and change. Shame causes us to hide, become numb, and define ourselves by our failures. Shame grows in secrecy, but confession brings it into the light.

James 5:16 tells Christians to confess their sins to one another and pray for one another so they may be healed. We do not need to announce every struggle publicly, but we do need trusted believers who know the truth about us, pray for us, hold us accountable, and remind us of God’s grace.

Confession should be met with grace. When someone trusts us enough to confess, Christians should not respond with shock, mockery, condemnation, or gossip. We should listen, pray, forgive, and help them take the next step toward healing.

Not everything that produces shame is sin. Some people carry shame because of abuse, violence, betrayal, manipulation, failure, temptation, or something another person did to them. Temptation itself is not sin—Jesus was tempted but never sinned. Even when there is no sin to confess, telling the whole truth to a safe and trustworthy person can break shame’s power.

Confession is telling the whole truth—including the truth about grace. If you have confessed your sin and turned toward Jesus, your failure no longer gets to define you. God wants to forgive, cleanse, heal, and restore you.

Using a tongue depressor as a memorable object lesson, Pastor Mike challenges us to pray the words of Psalm 139:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart… Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”

You are not confessing to earn your way into heaven. You confess because you trust God enough to let Him search you, change you, and heal you.

Who needs to know the truth about what you are carrying?

Schedule the conversation. Text a trusted person. Call your Growth Group leader. Meet with the person you hurt. Stop allowing secrecy, guilt, and shame to control your life.

God will heal you if you let Him—and He will often use confession.